Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
