i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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