The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
