we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize