Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize