Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
