ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
