White coat. Heels.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Randomize
