You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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