i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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