Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
