if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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