you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
