Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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