Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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