i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
