What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
