Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
