All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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