No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
