Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
