Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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