can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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