That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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