she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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