I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
