hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize