Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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