put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
