I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
