You work out of a Hotel?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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