All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
