I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
