If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
