Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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