DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
