My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
