I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just pee around me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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