I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you traded sex for a burrito?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
