Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize