okay pat passed out under dana's car
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
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