Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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