She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
