At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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