remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Someone shit on the floor
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
