My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
