HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
