I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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