you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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