i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize