No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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