i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
not ubering you a puppy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
