I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
