Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize