I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
