Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
