it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
