about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
