It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
