Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
