Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
