You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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