honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
