my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
