We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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