Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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