You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
