Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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