just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
