Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
