Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.

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(714): View more from California

the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester

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(941): View more from Florida

well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

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(239): View more from Florida

He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.

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(519): View more from Ontario

It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping

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(218): View more from Minnesota

He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.

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