is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
