I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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