so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
