No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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