Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
