Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
