she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
