just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
