the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
True strength comes from lack of pants
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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